Entry #3- Is that so?

Frankly speaking, I was kind of surprised when I came to know that this week's topic was about Interpersonal Relationship, as some of us may find this topic rather personal in some context. However, I must admit that it is, in fact, interesting.

When's the last time you feel attracted to a person? Was the attraction reciprocal? Pause for a second. Try make yourself recall on how it all came about and how it all come to an end (if any).

If we were to link back to the 10 stages of Knapp Model of Relational Development, the "coming together" part will be Initiating, Experimenting, Intensifying, Integrating and Bonding, and the "coming apart" part will be Differentiating, Circumscribing, Stagnating, Avoiding and Terminating. Though I think that these 10 stages would likely be the phases of which the majority would go through, I have no doubt that there may always be exceptions.

Apart from it, I'm curious as to which part of these stages happen to appeal to you the most? For me, it's the first stage- Initiating.

When I was reading through our lecture slides once again, I realized it wrote there:
- Screening and filtering
- Self -presentation
- Cautious and "safe"

What I found fascinating was actually the very first point- "Screening and filtering". How do you "screen and filter" someone? As a matter of fact, I think that it differs for both genders.

I'll just start on the process of how we (girls) may carry out this process of "screening and filtering" since I am a girl myself. :) I'm sure most of the girls out there have their own group of friends whom they share most of their thoughts and feelings with. And, this would include sharing information about their recent crushes or eyecandies that they've met. Right, girls? :) From there, their friends will then start helping the individual to analyze a few aspects of the guy which include his appearance, character and most importantly, helping her to look out for the guy's response towards her. For instance, whether or not the guy is showing any signs of reciprocal feelings towards her, and so on.

The reason as to why I found this particular process fascinating is due to the fact that though this process of "filtering and screening" a person is just the very initial part of everything, you'll be surprised to know that, this is too, the stage where most you find out the most about your crush or eyecandy. Despite of not knowing the reasons as to why this is so, I would reckon that it is due to the effort that we're willing to put in in wanting to know more about a particular person, such as adding someone on your MSN list or facebook account, exchanging your cellphone digits, asking your friends who knows him, etc, just to get to know the person more. Silly I know. But, this is in fact how it starts out for most of us, isn't it?

On the other hand, I tried asking one of my guy friends as to how guys would start checking a girl out. He said they too, have a couple of friends whom they share these girl issues with and, they would too, start "observing" the girl in their own way. (Sorry! I have no idea as to which ways guys would turn to as that friend of mine said that it's a "secret" -_- Haha. Anyone of you boys out there who are willing to share?) One of the difference I found was that they do not do it in an obvious manner, where some girls are likely to.

Apart from that, let me share something that I found rather unjust, that is, guys can actually "observe" up to more than a girl at a time! Afterwhich, they will then choose someone whom they think that has the best characteristics of all. I know that everyone has his or her own freedom of choice, however, isn't it still relatively hurtful if the girls whom they are observing find out that they are being judged upon like the animals for sale in a petshop?

So, why don't you people out there tell me aout your thoughts about this issue? Feel free to comment whether or not is it a positive or a negative one. :)